Articles About The Family Medallion®Because of its significance as a positive tool for supporting healthy families, the Family Medallion® presentation has been featured in a variety of major publications and television documentaries including Time Magazine, US News and World Report and 20/20. A 1999 documentary on divorce and remarriage in the United States by NHK Public Television of Japan focused on the importance of the Family Medallion® as a valuable resources for stepfamilies.
ARA Content It’s Time Has Come Now that One in Three Marriages Involve Parents with Young Children
“Our dates did not consist of the fine restaurants and exciting theatre to which I had become accustomed,” explains 37-year-old Johnna. “The kids were part of our dating relationship from the start, so we did things like roller skating, seeing family films and other child-appropriate activities.” This unusual courting ritual worked for the metropolitan Cincinnati couple. Johnna fell in love with both Kurt and his kids, 10-year-old Emma and seven-year-old Alex. So when the couple decided to marry, there was no question that Kurt’s children would be a central part of their wedding. However, Johnna wasn’t sure exactly how to make that happen. With the help of a local jeweler, she found the perfect answer to her dilemma: a simple and emotionally satisfying family service that gives children a meaningful role in the wedding celebration. This five-minute ceremony – known as the Family Medallion service – can easily be integrated into any religious or civil wedding ceremony. It differs from the traditional wedding in only one respect: After the newlyweds exchange rings, their children join them for a special service focusing on the family nature of a marriage. Each child is given a gold or silver Family Medallion (in the form of a pendant, ring, key ring or lapel pin) with three interlocking circles, a symbol that represents family love in much the same way the wedding ring signifies conjugal love.
The jeweler had used the Family Medallion
and family wedding service in her own blended family Both Johnna and Kurt say they will never forget the special family service that was the highlight of their September 2009 wedding in the backyard of the home of Kurt’s father and stepmother. Just when everyone thought the wedding service was about to end, the minister announced that there would be a special ceremony during which Johnna and Kurt would formally promise to love and care for Emma and Alex. While the minister read the words of the ceremony aloud for the guests to hear, Johnna and Kurt gave the Family Medallions to their children. It was a tender moment, with a lot of hugging. “I was so surprised and excited,” recalls young Emma. “It made me happy that Dad and Johnna did something so special for me and Alex.” For most of the guests at the Reeder/Kleymeyer wedding, the family service was the pinnacle of the day’s events. Many were touched to tears. “I can’t tell you how many people told me they had never before witnessed such a wonderful and unique ceremony for children,” Johnna says. The family wedding concept is an idea whose time has come now that one in three new marriages involves single parents with children living in the home, according to the Stepfamily Association of America. The Family Medallion wedding ceremony was created by Dr. Roger Coleman, minister and president of Clergy Services, Inc., an organization in Kansas City, Missouri, devoted to developing family-oriented services for weddings and other important life events. Dr. Coleman was frustrated that virtually no religious or civil wedding ceremony acknowledged the existence of youngsters. “A marriage with children is a lot more than simply a union of a man and a woman. It is the merging of two separate families.”
Johnna and Kurt believe that their decision to have a “family wedding” will strengthen their family bond for years to come. “My parents divorced when I was six years old,’ explains Kurt, the father of Emma and Alex. “Divorce is hard on kids. I wanted Emma and Alex to understand that they were not losing Johnna to me through marriage. I think the family wedding service did just that. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.” As far as fifth grader Emma is concerned, the family wedding meant she was gaining a step mom who loves her very much. She wears her Family Medallion ring everyday and proudly shows it to friends. “I tell them it means that all of us – Dad, Johnna, Alex and me – came together as a family.” The Des
Moines Register When Bob
and Janie Galloway of Newton married in late November, their two
sons from previous marriages were a big part of the celebration. Bob's
12-year-old son, Robert "Bo," was the best man. Janie's
10-year-old son, James gave her away.
"You
could tell from the look on their faces," said the Rev. Jim
Black of Foursquare Church in Newton, who performed the ceremony.
"They were radiant." The rings
bear a medallion with three interlocking circles which represent
family union just as a wedding band symbolizes conjugal love.
Children can see, touch, and feel the meaning behind the gift. "It's
simple enough that they grasp it," said the Rev. Roger
Coleman of Pilgrim Chapel in Kansas City, MO who developed the
concept in 1987. "It's a constant reminder of their
significance." The
5-minute ceremony known as the Family Medallion® service can be
incorporated into any religious or civil wedding that involves
children. It's gaining momentum as the number of stepfamilies in
the nation continues to increase. "Our
goal is to assist parents in developing a ceremony that supports
their new family relationships, said Coleman. "We try to
provide the materials they need to support family
commitments."
Time Magazine Their
(encore bride and grooms) nuptials don't merely unite two souls
but three or four or more. And that's a challenge. A solution is
the Family Medallion®," a piece of jewelry created by Roger
Coleman, a chaplain in Kansas City, MO. The medallions have three
interlocking circles meant to symbolize the family's new love.
They're often presented along with the wedding bands as part of
the formal ceremony. "The medallions are one small way of
reinforcing families and making children feel included," says
Coleman. Some couples who have used the medallions at their
betrothals report that their kids don't want to take them off. U.S.
News and World Report Ultimately,
the changes that will strengthen stepfamilies will likely come
from shifts in cultural prejudices. Such change is slow, but there
are some signs that some preliminary movement along this line is
starting to take place. For instance, Roger Coleman, a clergyman
in Kansas City, MO, performs marriage ceremonies specifically
designed to include children when a parent remarries. In years of
officiating second marriages, he says, he became acutely aware of
the confusion and insecurities of the children, and the
ceremony--which includes a special medallion worn by the
child--aims to celebrate the "new family" and move the
church beyond mere condemnation of divorce. This year, Coleman
says, over 10,000 families across the country will use the
medallion in their remarriage ceremony.
Connecticut Post Preparing
for her second wedding, Dawn DeMatteo of East Haven searched local
jewelry stores to no avail for something she could present to her
disabled son at the ceremony. "Just
being that the situation is so unique and that the three of us are
so close, I wanted to do something special," she said.
DeMatteo found her answer in a small advertisement for a family
oriented wedding service. "It
brought the family into it and that's what marriage is all
about," she said. The
service, created by Dr. Roger Coleman of Kansas City, MO-based
Clergy Services, Inc. and a staff member of Pilgrim Chapel, a
multi-faith religious center in Kansas City, acknowledges the
importance of children in a marriage. The bride, groom and child
recite vows and the child is presented a medallion with three
rings representing the unity the marriage will form. Coleman
said he was inspired to include children in wedding ceremonies
when he first started performing wedding services in Jackson
County, Mo. in 1983. "Children would come with a great deal
of excitement, but after the ceremony I would see a lot of
negative behavior," Coleman said. "The children thought
something exciting and important was going on, but nothing had
included them. It made them feel confused." To include
children in the ceremony, Coleman, with the help of his friends,
created a medallion that would include children in the wedding
ceremony. Coleman said children felt more included in the ceremony
when he started handing the medallions out and it became a moving
part of the ceremony. "I
ended up developing a ceremony that ministers could use to
recognize children," he said. "It encouraged and helped
parents to talk to children prior to the actual ceremony and to
discuss the importance of children in the marriage." DeMatteo
said the entire church was moved by the ceremony. "I can't
explain the feeling, but it was very touching for us and everyone
there," she said. "There wasn't a dry eye in the
house."
Catholic periodical, The Tidings When
Kimberly Cavanaugh agreed to marry Tony Garcia, the 32-year-old
realized that she was getting more than just a husband. "I
was making a commitment to be a good stepmother to Christy and
Travis." she says, referring to her fiancé's adolescent
children from a previous marriage. "I
wanted to do something during the wedding to show the kids how
important they were to me," she explains. "When I first
started dating Tony, my friends told me that a man with two kids
was carrying a lot of excess baggage. I think that's the way many
children of divorce feel--like they're just excess baggage,
something in the way, especially if one or both of their parents
are dating. I had grown to love Christy and Travis during the
three years it took Tony to get an annulment. Tony and I both
wanted a wedding that somehow communicated to the kids that they
weren't losing their dad, they were gaining a family."
Mrs. Garcia
says that no one will ever forget the moment during the wedding
last summer when she and Tony placed a Family Medallion® around
the necks of Christy and Travis. Tony, who isn't prone to displays
of sentiment, agrees. "It was an emotionally powerful
event," the 36-year-old father says. "We gave the kids
something tangible to show them they were going to be an integral
part of our lives. They were beaming. I could tell how happy they
were." Fourteen-year-old
Travis still remembers the words about family love spoken by the
priest who officiated at the wedding, "I thought, 'Wow, Dad
and Kimberly really do want us to be a family.'" Christy,
12, was also thrilled. "I felt so special when they gave me
the family medal," she says. "Kimberly could have had an
ordinary wedding like everyone else. But she went beyond the
ordinary to make the wedding a day we would all remember. I
realized how much she cared about Travis and me and that she
really meant it when she said that she would always be there for
us." "It's
a very positive service for all involved," says Msgr. John F.
Barry. Msgr. Barry has used the Family Medallion® ceremony in
several weddings including the Cavanaugh/Garcia wedding.
"When there is a remarriage situation, it's critical that
children from previous marriages be affirmed and welcomed into the
new relationship created by their parent and stepparent. The
Family Medallion® service is a good way to celebrate this new
beginning," Msgr. Barry told The Tidings.
Charlotte Observer No one
tallies how many weddings include children, but the Rev. Roger
Coleman, an N.C. native who lives in Kansas City, Mo., sends out
thousands of packets each year offering suggestions for such
ceremonies. "Marriage
you can get in and out of pretty easily," he says.
"Children you can't." Ideally the Family Medallion®
ceremony helps children make a big transition. Sharon Walker, who
remarried last summer, remembers how often her daughter Cristina,
then 8, tried to talk her out of it. Cristina loved Walker's fiancé,
Dave Walsh, but she still felt loyal to her father. She'd tell her
mom it was too early to remarry. During the
wedding, Walker vowed to share the joys and responsibilities of
parenthood, and Walsh vowed to accept those joys and duties. He
gave Cristina a little necklace. "Her
eyes were as big as saucers, and you could tell it was making an
impression," Walker recalls. Cristina never voiced another
objection. "She'll
get the photo album out to show her friends and say, 'You want to
see our wedding?'"
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wedding and
enthusiastically recommended it to Johnna. Since she didn’t
sell Family Medallion products in her shop, she gave Johnna the
website address where she could get more information. “I
checked it out,” Johnna recalls. “I loved the symbolism of the
Family Medallion. And the wording of the family ceremony that
accompanied it epitomized what was in my heart. I write for a
living and I couldn’t have expressed any better the sentiments
about the importance of children in blended families.”
Today, more than 15,000 couples annually – primarily in the
U.S., Canada and Europe – use the Family Medallion ceremony to
help strengthen the bond between parents, stepparents and
children. Clergy and justices of the peace increasingly embrace
Coleman’s family ceremony, integrating it into the weddings they
perform. Some even caution couples not to underestimate the
importance of recognizing during the wedding the young children
either spouse brings to the marriage relationship. “When
children aren’t included in a significant way, you can see the
haunted look in their faces. You get the sense that they’re
thinking my mom or dad just promised to love someone else
forever. What about me?” says Pastor Brian Eastman, the
minister who performed the family wedding for Johnna and Kurt.
Eastman is pastor of the Revelation Spiritual Church of Christ
in Cincinnati. “So many problems in adults can be traced to
childhood and the belief that there’s not enough love go
around. When this occurs, the child grows up with the sense
that he or she is not entirely lovable, a belief affects
virtually all aspects of one’s adult life.”
