Articles About The Family Medallion®

Because of its significance as a positive tool for supporting healthy families, the Family Medallion® presentation has been featured in a variety of major publications and television documentaries including Time Magazine, US News and World Report and 20/20. A 1999 documentary on divorce and remarriage in the United States by NHK Public Television of Japan focused on the importance of the Family Medallion® as a valuable resources for stepfamilies.

U.S. News and World Report
(November 29, 1999)
When Strangers Become Family

Ultimately, the changes that will strengthen stepfamilies will likely come from shifts in cultural prejudices. Such change is slow, but there are some signs that some preliminary movement along this line is starting to take place. For instance, Roger Coleman, a clergyman in Kansas City, MO, performs marriage ceremonies specifically designed to include children when a parent remarries. In years of officiating second marriages, he says, he became acutely aware of the confusion and insecurities of the children, and the ceremony--which includes a special medallion worn by the child--aims to celebrate the "new family" and move the church beyond mere condemnation of divorce. This year, Coleman says, over 10,000 families across the country will use the medallion in their remarriage ceremony.

Time Magazine
(June 19, 2000)
Twice As Nice

Their (encore bride and grooms) nuptials don't merely unite two souls but three or four or more. And that's a challenge. A solution is the Family Medallion®," a piece of jewelry created by Roger Coleman, a chaplain in Kansas City, MO. The medallions have three interlocking circles meant to symbolize the family's new love. They're often presented along with the wedding bands as part of the formal ceremony. "The medallions are one small way of reinforcing families and making children feel included," says Coleman. Some couples who have used the medallions at their betrothals report that their kids don't want to take them off.

Connecticut Post
(June 20, 1998)
Woman Wise section
Triple Ring Ceremony

Preparing for her second wedding, Dawn DeMatteo of East Haven searched local jewelry stores to no avail for something she could present to her disabled son at the ceremony.

"Just being that the situation is so unique and that the three of us are so close, I wanted to do something special," she said. DeMatteo found her answer in a small advertisement for a family oriented wedding service.

"It brought the family into it and that's what marriage is all about," she said.

The service, created by Dr. Roger Coleman of Kansas City, MO-based Clergy Services, Inc. and a staff member of Pilgrim Chapel, a multi-faith religious center in Kansas City, acknowledges the importance of children in a marriage. The bride, groom and child recite vows and the child is presented a medallion with three rings representing the unity the marriage will form.

Coleman said he was inspired to include children in wedding ceremonies when he first started performing wedding services in Jackson County, Mo. in 1983. "Children would come with a great deal of excitement, but after the ceremony I would see a lot of negative behavior," Coleman said. "The children thought something exciting and important was going on, but nothing had included them. It made them feel confused."

To include children in the ceremony, Coleman, with the help of his friends, created a medallion that would include children in the wedding ceremony. Coleman said children felt more included in the ceremony when he started handing the medallions out and it became a moving part of the ceremony.

"I ended up developing a ceremony that ministers could use to recognize children," he said. "It encouraged and helped parents to talk to children prior to the actual ceremony and to discuss the importance of children in the marriage."

DeMatteo said the entire church was moved by the ceremony. "I can't explain the feeling, but it was very touching for us and everyone there," she said. "There wasn't a dry eye in the house."

Catholic periodical, The Tidings
(April 4, 1997)

When Kimberly Cavanaugh agreed to marry Tony Garcia, the 32-year-old realized that she was getting more than just a husband. "I was making a commitment to be a good stepmother to Christy and Travis." she says, referring to her fiancé's adolescent children from a previous marriage.

"I wanted to do something during the wedding to show the kids how important they were to me," she explains. "When I first started dating Tony, my friends told me that a man with two kids was carrying a lot of excess baggage. I think that's the way many children of divorce feel--like they're just excess baggage, something in the way, especially if one or both of their parents are dating. I had grown to love Christy and Travis during the three years it took Tony to get an annulment. Tony and I both wanted a wedding that somehow communicated to the kids that they weren't losing their dad, they were gaining a family."

An article in a bridal magazine supplied the answer the couple was seeking: information about a simple liturgical service that gives children a meaningful role in the wedding celebration. This five-minute ceremony--known as the "Family Medallion®" service--can be integrated into any religious wedding. It differs from the traditional Catholic wedding in only one respect: after the newlyweds exchange rings, their children join them on the altar for a special service focusing on the family nature of remarriage.

Mrs. Garcia says that no one will ever forget the moment during the wedding last summer when she and Tony placed a Family Medallion® around the necks of Christy and Travis. Tony, who isn't prone to displays of sentiment, agrees. "It was an emotionally powerful event," the 36-year-old father says. "We gave the kids something tangible to show them they were going to be an integral part of our lives. They were beaming. I could tell how happy they were."

Fourteen-year-old Travis still remembers the words about family love spoken by the priest who officiated at the wedding, "I thought, 'Wow, Dad and Kimberly really do want us to be a family.'"

Christy, 12, was also thrilled. "I felt so special when they gave me the family medal," she says. "Kimberly could have had an ordinary wedding like everyone else. But she went beyond the ordinary to make the wedding a day we would all remember. I realized how much she cared about Travis and me and that she really meant it when she said that she would always be there for us."

"It's a very positive service for all involved," says Msgr. John F. Barry. Msgr. Barry has used the Family Medallion® ceremony in several weddings including the Cavanaugh/Garcia wedding. "When there is a remarriage situation, it's critical that children from previous marriages be affirmed and welcomed into the new relationship created by their parent and stepparent. The Family Medallion® service is a good way to celebrate this new beginning," Msgr. Barry told The Tidings.

Charlotte Observer
(June 3, 1997)
Do You Take This Family?

No one tallies how many weddings include children, but the Rev. Roger Coleman, an N.C. native who lives in Kansas City, Mo., sends out thousands of packets each year offering suggestions for such ceremonies.

"Marriage you can get in and out of pretty easily," he says. "Children you can't." Ideally the Family Medallion® ceremony helps children make a big transition. Sharon Walker, who remarried last summer, remembers how often her daughter Cristina, then 8, tried to talk her out of it. Cristina loved Walker's fiancé, Dave Walsh, but she still felt loyal to her father. She'd tell her mom it was too early to remarry.

During the wedding, Walker vowed to share the joys and responsibilities of parenthood, and Walsh vowed to accept those joys and duties. He gave Cristina a little necklace.

"Her eyes were as big as saucers, and you could tell it was making an impression," Walker recalls. Cristina never voiced another objection.

"She'll get the photo album out to show her friends and say, 'You want to see our wedding?'"

The Des Moines Register
(February 17, 2000)
Iowa Life section
A Wedding Ceremony for Combined Families

When Bob and Janie Galloway of Newton married in late November, their two sons from previous marriages were a big part of the celebration.

Bob's 12-year-old son, Robert "Bo," was the best man. Janie's 10-year-old son, James gave her away.

After the couple exchanged rings and vows, their attention turned to the boys. Janie placed a ring on Bo's left middle finger and hugged him. Bob did the same for Janie's son. The boys beamed with gratitude.

"You could tell from the look on their faces," said the Rev. Jim Black of Foursquare Church in Newton, who performed the ceremony. "They were radiant."

The rings bear a medallion with three interlocking circles which represent family union just as a wedding band symbolizes conjugal love. Children can see, touch, and feel the meaning behind the gift.

"It's simple enough that they grasp it," said the Rev. Roger Coleman of Pilgrim Chapel in Kansas City, MO who developed the concept in 1987. "It's a constant reminder of their significance."

The 5-minute ceremony known as the Family Medallion® service can be incorporated into any religious or civil wedding that involves children. It's gaining momentum as the number of stepfamilies in the nation continues to increase.

"Our goal is to assist parents in developing a ceremony that supports their new family relationships, said Coleman. "We try to provide the materials they need to support family commitments."